Sexual Orientation & Relationships Abroad

How significant is your sexual orientation to your current life? What role do you expect it to play during your time abroad?

Do you want to be open about your sexual orientation while studying abroad?

How open would you like to be with your friends, classmates, teachers, or strangers?

Are there situations where you might not want to be open or choose to closet yourself? Is this a choice you can make freely? Are you comfortable with this?

Being in a new environment and surrounded by different people may allow you to come out in a different way than you can at home. Many of our past students have described studying abroad as an opportunity to reinvent themselves and explore aspects of their identity away from the expectations set by family & friends at home.

There may be challenges you face in coming out while abroad.

Of course, local laws and your personal safety & comfort is one major consideration. You may also encounter challenges with language/dialect, such as terminology being used in unique ways or different accents disguising whether your voice is recognized as “gay”. Coming out looks different in other cultures: the way you normally express your identity at home through clothing, language, behaviour, etc. could be misinterpreted abroad as being “more straight” or “more queer” than you are used to, and require more emotional labour for you to come out explicitly. 

Challenges like this this may be intimidating, but also an opportunity for growth. Exploring how other cultures understand 2SLGBTQIA+ identities may help you reframe and reevaluate your own understandings. 

We want to support you in making the choice that is right for you!

One past UCalgary student shared with our advisors that they came out for the first time while studying abroad. They initially struggled with the language barrier as they figured out the right words to communicate their identity. When they returned home, they said it felt easier to come out here as they had already invested so much effort into finding different ways to explain themselves.

Conversely, we have also had cases where students who were out at home chose to re-closet themselves during their time abroad. One student shared that the reason why they chose to do this was because they felt anxious about mitigating the anxiety of code-switching or altering their identity presentation within a different culture.

However you choose to present your identity - whether by coming out, staying in the closet, or changing your presentation throughout your time abroad - is valid, as long as you are making that decision freely. Think about your priorities, comfort level, and what you need for your personal well-being. Don't hesitate to contact a Global Learning Advisor if you have any concerns or want to talk it through.

Is there a possibility that you will be dating while abroad or actively seeking a relationship?

If you are dating abroad, what aspects of your relationship might look different from what you’re normally used to? This might include PDA norms, norms around flirting & consent, whether non-heterosexual relationships are socially acknowledged in the same way as heterosexual relationships, etc.

If you have a partner at home, what might be appropriate for you to share with others about your relationship? How can you honour your relationship while dating long-distance? Are you interested in bringing your partner with you abroad?

Relationships are culturally nuanced. Just as there are cues used in Canadian contexts that an international visitor might be unfamiliar with, there are going to be cues you encounter abroad that you may not find easy to recognize. Doing research in advance is a good foundation, but befriending a local can be a valuable tool – they will be able to help you identify social cues and how to safely participate in the local dating life. 

Some specific cultural differences to consider are: 

• How affection is expressed. While Canadian culture is often fairly accepting of public displays of affection, other cultures may be more open or private. There may also be differences in what types of PDA are considered appropriate in different public spaces, such as on the street vs. in a recreation centre. 
• Language of consent. You may find some cultures are much more direct in their intentions, while others have to be read between the lines. Coded invitations can be found around the world, although language and meanings may be different; think of the range of interpretations even just in our society for phrases like “Netflix and chill”! Being clear and verbal is generally the best approach to avoid any misunderstandings. You will receive more guidance on consent and sexual safety in your pre-departure orientation prior to travelling on your global learning program. 
• Age of consent. In some countries, there is a different legal age of consent for heterosexual relationships than for homosexual relationships. This is something to keep in mind if you plan to pursue sexual relationships while abroad. 

If you currently have a partner, it may be possible to travel together. Many exchanges and group study programs are able to accept students applying together, and even if your partner isn't a UCalgary student, there might still be options for them to study abroad with you or to just travel with you as a tourist.

Click here to watch our "Study Abroad Together" presentation for more detailed information! Our Global Learning Advisors are also happy to talk to you about your specific situation.

We also encourage you to research whether your relationship would be legally recognized in your host country, as this may impact things such as renting accommodations together or whether you can visit each other if you are hospitalized.

Is having 2SLGBTQIA+ community abroad important to you?

If one isn’t available at your travel destination, how might this impact your experience? Would you be interested in trying to start your own community with other students?

If you already have a community at home, do you want to maintain those connections virtually during your time abroad? How can you balance this with any in-person communities you might engage with in your host country?

What are the possible differences in how you interact with 2SLGBTQIA+ communities abroad compared to familiar communities at home? (For example, you may find it more public or private, more social-focused or activism-focused, etc.)

The internet is a great resource to start searching for supportive communities in your host country. Simply searching "2SLGBTQIA+ community in [city/country]" will often come up with some results.

Students attending global learning programs at another university (such as exchange or research programs) may have access to student clubs at their host university, their residence/dorm, or even neighbourhood groups.

Students attending group study programs may meet other 2SLGBTQIA+ students in their group, or may choose to stay behind after the end of their program to keep travelling & connecting with established communities. 

Check out the Resources list at the bottom of this page for some recommended websites that may help you in your search!

What are the common attitudes towards the 2SLGBTQIA+ community in your host country/city? How do these attitudes come across in news, social media, or pop culture? 

What is the perceived scale of presence of 2SLGBTQIA+ people in your host country/city?

Full understanding of your host culture abroad likely won’t come until you have spent time travelling and living in that area. However, we strongly recommend doing some research before you go. This will help you get an idea of what to expect in terms of the local culture’s approach towards 2SLGBTQIA+ identities.

Gender is also something to consider. The way that people express gender often correlates to expressions of sexuality, and how gender roles are understood & presented may inform the way that people typically interact with each other in society. You may find that there are concepts of masculinity and femininity in your host country that are different from Canada, and that locals in your host country utilize gender presentation differently to express their sexual orientation.

For related reading, please view the Gender Identity Abroad resource page (click here).